Fears.

Two places that make me intensely uncomfortable.

1. Temples.

2. Hospitals.

And in no particular order.

Temples: ( or places of worship)  Born A Brahmin, i was often taken o temples. This archana,another pooja, other abhishekum etc. Even when i was a child, standing in those lines, waiting for the priests to get the teertam was so weird. I feel like am judged everytime the priest comes close to me. I was told as a child to fold my hands and pray to the idol.It's God, they said. But i never felt like praying. I felt like it was a sham. What would a stone idol understand what i was saying? I was scared that people will discover I'm a fake .I still am uncomfortable going to temples. Whenever i enter one, i have an urge to run. 

So i thought, maybe its only because, well, its a temple. Maybe its the chanting and the drums and the bells. So, when i joined a christian institution , i went to the chapel to see, if it was only temples. I sat in the chapel for 5 minutes. The silence scared me. Really really spooked me out. It seemed inhuman that in a college of over 5000 people, a place existed where no noise permeated. Shudder. Still gives me the spooks.

P.S: I do believe in GOD. But i rather pray to him my way.

Hospitals: This is more common I'm guessing. The sick patients , the suffering. I'm sure a lot of people are uncomfortable in hospitals. I am one of them. Doctors intimidate me with their stethoscope talks and their prescription notes. Its not only the sick patients, its all of the family. Have you ever stayed in the hospital  overnight? The sea of people, the constant hum of noise, the nurses and doctors walking in and out. It is the most uncomfortable situation.Hospitals give out  the 'what if ' aura. Recently a friend was admitted in the hospital. The place where he was admitted had wide corridors, with the antiseptic smell. As soon as a stepped in, i really had to fight the urge to turn back and leave. And the more people I saw around me, the more i needed to get out. It was fine in about 5 minutes. but till then, it was my nightmare. 

Why am i telling you guys this? I don't know. Maybe its got to do with lifts I'd refused to climb and elevators i used to avoid or even dogs i kept away from. Will i ever walk into a temple voluntarily, i wonder?