:)

There's music in my head,

no one has heard it yet.

Its the sound track of my life.

Its a tune i live by.

There's music in my head,

No one has heard it yet.

An Award !!!! An Award!!!! Here it goes!!!!

I got an award! yipppee!!! Thanks Maanu. I dont think i do any humane blogging , but yippeee! I've never got an award. MUHAAHA

Poem.

A long time ago

Lived a man, Marco.

He travelled to Spain

but from cussing, he didnt refrain,

That's how he ended, my sweet,

All 'lone and six feet deep.

To Ranjeetha. Who fell in love with Marco within two poems.

My day out.

For the past three or more days, I've been meaning to blog. It wasn't the scarcity of the material that stopped me. It was just plain laziness.
Lets start with something which happened recently- I watched a play ( yipppeee!!!) After what seemed like years of self inflicted exile, the feeling of being out, well,was liberating.
The play was called 'Copenhagen' Directed by Prakash Belawadi, it was
one of the better plays that I have watched. It had matter and depth and layers and layers of interpretations. Physics, ethics, choice and consequence, the gray scale of human nature,all paths weaved together so perfectly, such that whichever path you followed, the destination was the same. The discussion which followed was really intellectual, and opened my mind to wonderful new ideas and perspectives. The actors did justice to those stalwarts of Physics- Bohr and Heisenberg,convincing me that they were the great physicists that said they were. They brought humanness to the characters that we have read only in text books and believe nearly to be super beings. The play, has the world war II as the background and talks about choices, confusion, fear and uncertainty.It is a beautiful play.

Sadly,Theatre isn't given its due very often. The auditorium was filled with a handful of people. This form of entertainment is declining and discouraging turn outs aren't helping too much. But it should be noted, we did watch the 11:30 am show. Hopefully the 'Real' show ( scheduled at 5:30 pm)was a better success.

Even though the play is over two hours,the pace is fast and the story holds your interest.Its a must watch.

Lunch was at Garuda's food court;Malaysian noodles and coke.Met a couple of friends.Chased a couple cousins down Garuda mall( being a stalker is hard work,Pallu!)and called it a day.

And that's how my Saturday went. Oh I shouldn't forget the tasty lasagna I had for dinner at Citrine ,the restaurant in Seshadripuram .A dinner that ended with, wonderfully, coffee.

That was Saturday-my day out.

Anyone out there still willing to give me a job?

Shruthi's wrong job.

I met Shruthi for the first time when i was in !st PU. She is my sisters friend and is quite mad frankly. Her blog a testimony for that. Working with cake men and superhero uncles, she's lost her calling.

Please listen to the song below and encourage her to stop thinking she's a superwoman who has a cake fetish.
HER SONG

And tell her please singing is what she was born to do.

The Job Part 3

Your life flashes in front of you when faced with death, they say. Bull shit. All your senses awaken and all you can do is look at, wait for that inevitable. Ive faced bullets a million times and each time the anticipation feels different. Each time feels like the last time.

The Jeep was out of control and Shalini had been hurt. Krishna's throat was bleeding . A glass piece from the second blast had gotten stuck and he couldn’t talk. Raj was hyperventilating. His revolver, which was pointed at that damn terrorist Govindaraju was shaking. But all I could think of, even then, was that I had to kill that fuckin bastard, who was still handcuffed. If this sham has to look genuine, the handcuffs had to go. Krishna had the keys. He was supposed to free him and as soon the cuffs came off, I and Raj were supposed to shoot. But Krishna was hurt badly and I knew, it was just me now. Just me to make this look like self defense. My heart was in my mouth and I could hear Abhi yell out Shalini’s name.I hoped and prayed, that Shalu was alright. I took in a deep breath. It was now, or never. Raj nodded at me. His hands hadn’t stopped shaking. I took in a deep breath and reached for the key in Krishna’s jeans. Said a tiny prayer for his well being and slid in next to the bastard. Just as I twisted the key into the cuffs, Krishna kicked my leg. As soon as I looked up I saw, looming large and blocking the path, a tree. It doesn’t matter how many life threatening situations you’ve been in, it always is a shock. I yelled out to Abhi. But before I could even look back, I felt the impact. All I remember thinking then was ‘FUCK!!’ before something hit my head and I blacked out.
I woke up 12 hours later in a hospital , without a clue how I got there. No one seemed to know anything. All anyone had to say to me was a woman got me to the hospital and no one had seen her since. Its been 3 days now and Ive been on the phone with all the authorities. No one knew anything. Where are my friends? Was the woman who got me here, Shalini? Why didn’t anyone know anything?

Letter.

The crackle of paper

A handwriting that tapers.

A smile of a memory

Of fun and revelry

An idea. Maybe two.

Few emotions.

And the hope of new.

A letter it was, with words few.

But what it said was rather true.

Letters- Don’t you think it s like studying the universe. Reading of that, which already has been. Both are of the past, mistaken often for the present.And both bring our notice other kinds of life out there. Don't you think?

The job. Part 2

The second the second blast went off, Abhishek knew something was horribly wrong. He couldn’t keep driving the Jeep. The left tyres were flat and it was swiveling wildly. Only one bomb was supposed to go off and nobody , well except that bastard of course , was supposed to get hurt. Yet, There she was, bent over her seatbelt with blood everywhere. ‘Shalini!!’ he screamed. Oh God! What had he done? He knew he couldn’t have told Shal the plan. They’d had the discussion before. She wasn’t against capital punishment, but she was certainly against taking law into their own hands. With good reason, it seemed. It had been Jo’s idea. All this court procedures took too long, he’d said. They dodged bullets in so many cases, to have some motherfucker jerk get off on bail. This wasn’t going to be one of those cases. It had been carefully laid out. A bomb would go out, guns would be shot and the earth would be rid of a huge burden. Rajesh had never been keen on the idea. ‘It wont work’, he’d said. ‘Too many glitches.’ But Rajesh had been outnumbered. The plan was on. But Shalini? Oh, all he wanted to do was to protect her. He knew her too well. She couldn’t have lied on the stand. The only way this charade could work was to have Shalini not know anything about it. Though the team had their doubts it, it had been his call. She was his fiancé God damn it ! He’d wanted to protect her. He’d failed. So miserably since she was now unconscious and bleeding. ‘Shalini!!!’ he screamed again.Oh God! Let her be all right he said looking at her. Please!! He heard Jo’s voice ‘Abhi!?? Look out!!’ but before he could do anything, he felt the horrible impact, and everything went dark.

The tag.

Shruthi tagged me a while ago and asked me to list a few weird things about me. So, i thought that's easy. I'm weird because.. err... umm.. i know.. no, no, that isn't weird. ok! i know!! umm.... errr... ahh.. ok. It wasn't supposed to be that difficult. So i called up my darling sister.
' So, Maan, what do you think is weird about me?'
'Whats not weird about you?That's easier don't you think?'
' Alright. like list it can ya?'
'Well, ya... you.. err.. errr... ummm.. Ok. I have to work now. bye'
*click*
So i sat in this daze.Was i really that boringly normal? Really? That wasn't the nicest thing you know.So i thoughtand thought and thought and i came up with the following few.

1. I have to put on the light in the loo, at whatever time i go. 1:00 am, 1:00 pm, 4:00 pm... Anytime. And however bright it is outside.

2. I have a particular side of the road i like to walk on. It differs from road to road. I have to walk on that side of the road. No compromise.

3. I used to be very very afraid of elevators and escalators. ( living on the 6Th floor, for over a year helped remove that fear). Its like in Harry Potter-' Never trust anything whose brain you cannot see' or something like that.

4. I sometimes, And this is a big secret, have arguments and make it seem like Ive given it a lot of thought, while in fact I'd have just thought of it.

5. I have an insane urge to scratch out any kind of polish on my nails. Toes or fingers. I sometimes wear nail polish, so that i can scratch it out later. Muhahah!!

6. Oh , My day starts at 11 in the morning till 2 in the night. I usually have my most heart felt conversations at 1 am in the morning. Fellow nocturnals. hail thee.

Thats all. If anyone i know can think of any other weird things about me. Please do write in.
So long.

The job. Part 1

This post has been inspired by my dream which sadly, I remember only in bits.

She looked at him with utter dedication. She could see the little vein near his jaw throb. He was tense, she knew, and was trying really hard not to show it. His hand gripped the steering wheel tightly. Another tell tale sign that he was worried. But she couldn’t see why he should be. She looked behind, where three of her colleagues sat. Jo, Rajesh and Krishna were the best in the department. She respected and trusted them fully. In between Jo and Krishna sat the reason all of them were together- Govindraju aka Sunil bhai was wanted in a dozen odd cases involving major thefts and in a few cases murder. But the main reason, he sat cuffed to the jeep window was that he was the brain behind blowing up the churches in at least five cities simultaneously causing deaths of hundreds of people.

When she looked at him, Govindraju, that bastard, smirked at her. Disgusted, she turned back. Abhishek, smiled at her. He had a beautiful smile, Abhi. It was what she had first noticed about him. She loved how his smile always reached his eyes. But today, it wasn’t anywhere near beautiful. She reached out and touched his hand on the steering wheel. She needed him to know that she was there with him. All the way. They were in this together along with the other three. ‘ Alright! Jo? It is time?’ he said suddenly, removing his hand from underneath hers. She looked back now, wondering, time for what? When suddenly, there was a blast next to the jeep. ‘Raj? You up for this?’ Abhi asked loudly. ‘No! I told you that before, Abhi, im not. But I don’t think you’ve really left me with a choice here’ he yelled. She was now confused. Up for what? Choice? What the hell were they talking about? Just then, there was another blast near her window, the glass shattered, and everything suddenly went dark.

To be continued.

Fears.

Two places that make me intensely uncomfortable.

1. Temples.

2. Hospitals.

And in no particular order.

Temples: ( or places of worship)  Born A Brahmin, i was often taken o temples. This archana,another pooja, other abhishekum etc. Even when i was a child, standing in those lines, waiting for the priests to get the teertam was so weird. I feel like am judged everytime the priest comes close to me. I was told as a child to fold my hands and pray to the idol.It's God, they said. But i never felt like praying. I felt like it was a sham. What would a stone idol understand what i was saying? I was scared that people will discover I'm a fake .I still am uncomfortable going to temples. Whenever i enter one, i have an urge to run. 

So i thought, maybe its only because, well, its a temple. Maybe its the chanting and the drums and the bells. So, when i joined a christian institution , i went to the chapel to see, if it was only temples. I sat in the chapel for 5 minutes. The silence scared me. Really really spooked me out. It seemed inhuman that in a college of over 5000 people, a place existed where no noise permeated. Shudder. Still gives me the spooks.

P.S: I do believe in GOD. But i rather pray to him my way.

Hospitals: This is more common I'm guessing. The sick patients , the suffering. I'm sure a lot of people are uncomfortable in hospitals. I am one of them. Doctors intimidate me with their stethoscope talks and their prescription notes. Its not only the sick patients, its all of the family. Have you ever stayed in the hospital  overnight? The sea of people, the constant hum of noise, the nurses and doctors walking in and out. It is the most uncomfortable situation.Hospitals give out  the 'what if ' aura. Recently a friend was admitted in the hospital. The place where he was admitted had wide corridors, with the antiseptic smell. As soon as a stepped in, i really had to fight the urge to turn back and leave. And the more people I saw around me, the more i needed to get out. It was fine in about 5 minutes. but till then, it was my nightmare. 

Why am i telling you guys this? I don't know. Maybe its got to do with lifts I'd refused to climb and elevators i used to avoid or even dogs i kept away from. Will i ever walk into a temple voluntarily, i wonder?

I've been tagged by Poorn.

The significance of number 1-10 in my life.Thought I'll give this a shot

1: The no of siblings i have. Only. Thank god.Also, the number of cameras i own.

2: The nag brigade. My parents. Annoying and equally adorable.

3: No of careers i wan to have. Simultaneously. It also signifies the number of BFF. ( Gwad! i sound so lame!)

4:No of alumni i belong to. Nagasena Vidyalaya Vidya Mandir, Mount carmel college, VIT.

5: No of years in Mount Carmel college. Those were the best days.. and all that.
6:No of crushes ive had. Its a pitiful number.:(

7:No of MAD cousins i have. My childhood wouldnt have been the same without them

8: Is the number of days left for me to finish my thesis

9: I just like this number.I do.

10: Is the rank i was stuck most of my school life.

This is a special inclusion.

11. The number of active Thikkal club member. My favorite type of people.

Well. Its an attempt.

Update: Im in lab at 7 on a saturday.

Long since.

It's been ages since ive written anything. A poem. A story. A blog.

Its been ages since i finished a book. I am now in the process of reading at least three.

Thesis becokens. I havent a clue how to write one.

It rained today . Hail stones. In spite of my damn runny nose, I couldnt resist dancing in the rain. Its why i love Bangalore. April showers. Beautiful and poetic even.

I had really good weekends last month. The Bombat bombshells. Thats what we have named ourselves. It was a re living of the Pre university days. Mad dances. Crazy stay overs. Tang fears its not going to be the same, what with people moving out. Will we ever be Bombat again?

Change takes over everything. I find myself turning rather clingy because of these changes. Rather annoying even to me.

'So, What plans after MSc?' - I vote this the most annoying question ever.

Work has to be done. So much. Tau and Parkinson's and what not?

I listen to songs now. Thats strange. Really.

Photography is my new passion. (www.flickr.com/photos/meghnaiyengar)I can be a million times better . But I dont think its a bad start. Thanks Dad!

Got drunk recently. Apparently I develop an accent when i am. Didnt like the hangover one bit.

Went to the planetarium recently.Watched a show. I think its one of the most romantic places. Truely.

Am annoyed with a lot of things.

Am happy about a lot of things.

Angel cards say im emerging.
Who knew.

To Hero and my lou. Hope of Happiness.

Random and Mind fucked.

Happiness

The last few weeks in my circle of friends hasn't been pleasant. Fights. Make ups. A Good damn circus. I was the mute spectator. Well, maybe not that mute. Everyone around me was so miserable and that got me thinking.
When i look back on my life at this point , i realize that all that i had been miserable too. And for no reason as such. Sad and miserable. I had everything that i ever wanted. Why had i been that miserable?
Am i happy now, because i have made up my mind to be? Is happiness all in the head? Can you be happy at will?

Man- Galore .

The terrorists have stopped playing pin the bomb. So far so good. But, our reporters are running out of news. Pakistan's apathy now is old. It is after all the TRP.

Sri Ram sena, a group founded by Pramod Muthalik who was formerly a member of the Bajrang Dal, is a strong hidhutva group. On Saturday, 24 th of Jan 2009, these people attacked a pub,because the girls there were a 'disgrace' to Indian culture. Yeah right. And they got this moral code from where exactly? The public was physically abused.Girls shouldn't drink or smoke. They should wear sari's and bindi's and not raise their voice against the men. I think this is assertion of Power. Men do not control women anymore and that bothers these men.Insecure bastards. .

I believe, these 'armies' do get funds from Hindutva supporters. i do believe that a lot of Hindu's think they are becoming the minority . But blaming a government really? Maybe they thought BJP might not harm them much , but you think it would have mattered to them who was on the seat? And really when the media is everywhere nowadays, why would BJP play 'political games'? I understand that leaders weren't arrested immediately and this has irked a lot of people ( me included). Women especially. BUT Talibanisation of India?? IT was ONE attack ? what is Noida then? The Genghisisation?

I agree what happened in Mangalore was wrong. I am a woman. I go to pubs.I'm as outraged as the next person. It has to be reported, i agree. But it has been four days today. Don't you think news channels like TIMES NOW are blowing the issue out of proportion. Debates in which people who were not even from Karnataka participating. And while we are at it, i thought journalists weren't supposed to be biased, but Arnab Goswamy was exactly that. I'm not BJP supporter. Hell, I'm hardly interested in politics.But i think we need perspective.Moral policing has always been there. Following up is necessary , but a dedicated hour debate? where the winning side has already been picked? I don't think its fair.

Anyway, Freedom to walk on the road peacefully without fearing rapists or eve teasers is my only want from whichever government.Hopefully all this is sorted out and the men are duly punished.

PS: Change is required and therefore every vote counts. I might not follow politics day to day, but I do my research before i vote. Please vote.You are responsible.

A song was sung. Dark blue like the night sky. Hidden in every syllable was a deep secret. An evil secret. The notes took to the sky anddanced. A call for the greater evil. The song was sung by the soil of goodness who was unaware of the harm caused. My question is once the soul finds out, what'll it support? Power? or her damned existance?

The world is ending.

Dont you think?

The bombs haven't stopped.

The terrorists are everywhere. Fear is rampant.

Emotions are rewired.

What is the cause actually?

obliterate ? blow everything to smithereens?

The world is coming to an end.