The job. Part 1

This post has been inspired by my dream which sadly, I remember only in bits.

She looked at him with utter dedication. She could see the little vein near his jaw throb. He was tense, she knew, and was trying really hard not to show it. His hand gripped the steering wheel tightly. Another tell tale sign that he was worried. But she couldn’t see why he should be. She looked behind, where three of her colleagues sat. Jo, Rajesh and Krishna were the best in the department. She respected and trusted them fully. In between Jo and Krishna sat the reason all of them were together- Govindraju aka Sunil bhai was wanted in a dozen odd cases involving major thefts and in a few cases murder. But the main reason, he sat cuffed to the jeep window was that he was the brain behind blowing up the churches in at least five cities simultaneously causing deaths of hundreds of people.

When she looked at him, Govindraju, that bastard, smirked at her. Disgusted, she turned back. Abhishek, smiled at her. He had a beautiful smile, Abhi. It was what she had first noticed about him. She loved how his smile always reached his eyes. But today, it wasn’t anywhere near beautiful. She reached out and touched his hand on the steering wheel. She needed him to know that she was there with him. All the way. They were in this together along with the other three. ‘ Alright! Jo? It is time?’ he said suddenly, removing his hand from underneath hers. She looked back now, wondering, time for what? When suddenly, there was a blast next to the jeep. ‘Raj? You up for this?’ Abhi asked loudly. ‘No! I told you that before, Abhi, im not. But I don’t think you’ve really left me with a choice here’ he yelled. She was now confused. Up for what? Choice? What the hell were they talking about? Just then, there was another blast near her window, the glass shattered, and everything suddenly went dark.

To be continued.

Fears.

Two places that make me intensely uncomfortable.

1. Temples.

2. Hospitals.

And in no particular order.

Temples: ( or places of worship)  Born A Brahmin, i was often taken o temples. This archana,another pooja, other abhishekum etc. Even when i was a child, standing in those lines, waiting for the priests to get the teertam was so weird. I feel like am judged everytime the priest comes close to me. I was told as a child to fold my hands and pray to the idol.It's God, they said. But i never felt like praying. I felt like it was a sham. What would a stone idol understand what i was saying? I was scared that people will discover I'm a fake .I still am uncomfortable going to temples. Whenever i enter one, i have an urge to run. 

So i thought, maybe its only because, well, its a temple. Maybe its the chanting and the drums and the bells. So, when i joined a christian institution , i went to the chapel to see, if it was only temples. I sat in the chapel for 5 minutes. The silence scared me. Really really spooked me out. It seemed inhuman that in a college of over 5000 people, a place existed where no noise permeated. Shudder. Still gives me the spooks.

P.S: I do believe in GOD. But i rather pray to him my way.

Hospitals: This is more common I'm guessing. The sick patients , the suffering. I'm sure a lot of people are uncomfortable in hospitals. I am one of them. Doctors intimidate me with their stethoscope talks and their prescription notes. Its not only the sick patients, its all of the family. Have you ever stayed in the hospital  overnight? The sea of people, the constant hum of noise, the nurses and doctors walking in and out. It is the most uncomfortable situation.Hospitals give out  the 'what if ' aura. Recently a friend was admitted in the hospital. The place where he was admitted had wide corridors, with the antiseptic smell. As soon as a stepped in, i really had to fight the urge to turn back and leave. And the more people I saw around me, the more i needed to get out. It was fine in about 5 minutes. but till then, it was my nightmare. 

Why am i telling you guys this? I don't know. Maybe its got to do with lifts I'd refused to climb and elevators i used to avoid or even dogs i kept away from. Will i ever walk into a temple voluntarily, i wonder?

I've been tagged by Poorn.

The significance of number 1-10 in my life.Thought I'll give this a shot

1: The no of siblings i have. Only. Thank god.Also, the number of cameras i own.

2: The nag brigade. My parents. Annoying and equally adorable.

3: No of careers i wan to have. Simultaneously. It also signifies the number of BFF. ( Gwad! i sound so lame!)

4:No of alumni i belong to. Nagasena Vidyalaya Vidya Mandir, Mount carmel college, VIT.

5: No of years in Mount Carmel college. Those were the best days.. and all that.
6:No of crushes ive had. Its a pitiful number.:(

7:No of MAD cousins i have. My childhood wouldnt have been the same without them

8: Is the number of days left for me to finish my thesis

9: I just like this number.I do.

10: Is the rank i was stuck most of my school life.

This is a special inclusion.

11. The number of active Thikkal club member. My favorite type of people.

Well. Its an attempt.

Update: Im in lab at 7 on a saturday.

Long since.

It's been ages since ive written anything. A poem. A story. A blog.

Its been ages since i finished a book. I am now in the process of reading at least three.

Thesis becokens. I havent a clue how to write one.

It rained today . Hail stones. In spite of my damn runny nose, I couldnt resist dancing in the rain. Its why i love Bangalore. April showers. Beautiful and poetic even.

I had really good weekends last month. The Bombat bombshells. Thats what we have named ourselves. It was a re living of the Pre university days. Mad dances. Crazy stay overs. Tang fears its not going to be the same, what with people moving out. Will we ever be Bombat again?

Change takes over everything. I find myself turning rather clingy because of these changes. Rather annoying even to me.

'So, What plans after MSc?' - I vote this the most annoying question ever.

Work has to be done. So much. Tau and Parkinson's and what not?

I listen to songs now. Thats strange. Really.

Photography is my new passion. (www.flickr.com/photos/meghnaiyengar)I can be a million times better . But I dont think its a bad start. Thanks Dad!

Got drunk recently. Apparently I develop an accent when i am. Didnt like the hangover one bit.

Went to the planetarium recently.Watched a show. I think its one of the most romantic places. Truely.

Am annoyed with a lot of things.

Am happy about a lot of things.

Angel cards say im emerging.
Who knew.

To Hero and my lou. Hope of Happiness.

Random and Mind fucked.

Happiness

The last few weeks in my circle of friends hasn't been pleasant. Fights. Make ups. A Good damn circus. I was the mute spectator. Well, maybe not that mute. Everyone around me was so miserable and that got me thinking.
When i look back on my life at this point , i realize that all that i had been miserable too. And for no reason as such. Sad and miserable. I had everything that i ever wanted. Why had i been that miserable?
Am i happy now, because i have made up my mind to be? Is happiness all in the head? Can you be happy at will?

Man- Galore .

The terrorists have stopped playing pin the bomb. So far so good. But, our reporters are running out of news. Pakistan's apathy now is old. It is after all the TRP.

Sri Ram sena, a group founded by Pramod Muthalik who was formerly a member of the Bajrang Dal, is a strong hidhutva group. On Saturday, 24 th of Jan 2009, these people attacked a pub,because the girls there were a 'disgrace' to Indian culture. Yeah right. And they got this moral code from where exactly? The public was physically abused.Girls shouldn't drink or smoke. They should wear sari's and bindi's and not raise their voice against the men. I think this is assertion of Power. Men do not control women anymore and that bothers these men.Insecure bastards. .

I believe, these 'armies' do get funds from Hindutva supporters. i do believe that a lot of Hindu's think they are becoming the minority . But blaming a government really? Maybe they thought BJP might not harm them much , but you think it would have mattered to them who was on the seat? And really when the media is everywhere nowadays, why would BJP play 'political games'? I understand that leaders weren't arrested immediately and this has irked a lot of people ( me included). Women especially. BUT Talibanisation of India?? IT was ONE attack ? what is Noida then? The Genghisisation?

I agree what happened in Mangalore was wrong. I am a woman. I go to pubs.I'm as outraged as the next person. It has to be reported, i agree. But it has been four days today. Don't you think news channels like TIMES NOW are blowing the issue out of proportion. Debates in which people who were not even from Karnataka participating. And while we are at it, i thought journalists weren't supposed to be biased, but Arnab Goswamy was exactly that. I'm not BJP supporter. Hell, I'm hardly interested in politics.But i think we need perspective.Moral policing has always been there. Following up is necessary , but a dedicated hour debate? where the winning side has already been picked? I don't think its fair.

Anyway, Freedom to walk on the road peacefully without fearing rapists or eve teasers is my only want from whichever government.Hopefully all this is sorted out and the men are duly punished.

PS: Change is required and therefore every vote counts. I might not follow politics day to day, but I do my research before i vote. Please vote.You are responsible.

A song was sung. Dark blue like the night sky. Hidden in every syllable was a deep secret. An evil secret. The notes took to the sky anddanced. A call for the greater evil. The song was sung by the soil of goodness who was unaware of the harm caused. My question is once the soul finds out, what'll it support? Power? or her damned existance?